Category: the Rant Board
All right, I decided to post this topic because I personally know so many cases of it, and it really upsets me. this is not by any means, with the intention to disrespect anyone at all. For those of you with SSI, do you think you should have control over it once you're 18? I ask, because unfortunately, I know of people in their 20s who don't do so, because their parents don't allow them to mannage it. I'm not saying, take the check and party, spend as you wish. Because we live in a house, and we use all the resources, food, water, electrisitty, gass etc., and I believe it's important to contribute to the household. However, it's your income, and if you're not allowed to make use of it yourself, how will you start having a responsibillity? Ie also know people my age who's parents don't like giving them spending money, while manniging their SSI, or others, who get mad at their blind children for spending it on things for themselves! How upsetting!
Um ... yes, you should have control over it once you're 18. For anyone to think the opposite makes no sense.
The money is for you to help you get on or stay on your feet.
I am not sure how someone would transfer the payments from going to their parents to going directly to themselves. I could not get SSI until I turned eighteen. But I would imagine that if you stood up to your parents, or picked up the phone to communicate with your rep or local office, you could get some good info. I just gave my SSA rep my bank account information, and they direct deposit it in my account. No one manages my money but me.
I started getting SSI once I started touring as a student musician so that I could take care of my own expenses at seventeen. I was not proud of getting it though and I think people that get these benefits should be taught to manage them right and remember it comes from the tax payers of this country and is not to be wasted.
Normally it is the parent’s job to teach management no matter where the funds come from.
That sound good in theory until you understand that not all parents can manage, so rely on the disabled person’s income, or child’s income to support the poorly managed house hold
My reasons for saying this, are that if a house hold was properly managed the parent wouldn’t require the child income, and could teach them management if allowed.
A small amount could be charged not because it is needed, but as a teaching tool. That sum would be saved and when the child wanted something loaned back, or even given back.
A parent that manages well can afford to teach, and instead of taking, they want to help a child not only learn, but enjoy the fruits of income no matter how it is gotten.
This is difficult, because the child is entitled to their income once they are legal adults, but if they are living under a parents roof, are subject to the parents rules as to what happens to the funds.
If a child decides to manage their own funds, that child also must manage their own life, so if this means moving away from the parents rule, that child must do so no matter how well, or poorly they manage.
If an agreement can not be reached, the child either moves or pays, because when you live in someone’s house you must pay what they want you to pay. It is just the same if you rent a place. You decide if the terms are to your liking and if not you don’t rent.
My parent shared my views.
At 18 I moved away and went to college. I never lived with my parents again, so I took the manage my own life root I guess you could say.
Ok wayne, that's what I'm saying. I'm not saying, a child young adult of 18 should take the all the money and not contribute. Life isn't fair, certainly they might not agree on what they have to pay, but, nothing's free. Hence, it doesn't mean that if he/she is entitled to their SSI money, in this case that they have to move out. Like you said, a parent must teach, not take.
No, a parent is not entitled , but a parent can ask for it all.
The reason for this is that is the price they want for you living in the place they support.
It is not necessarily wrong, but in many cases unfair.
When a person feels something is unfairthe first, try to work out an agreement. If that fails, they make plans to fix things more to their liking.
Think about it, if you make the call, have your benefits send directly to you, no matter what the income source is, you will argue if you have no agreement.
There is no use trying to fight it legally, because their is no law that can actually change a persons mind, so you cause strife.
I'd suggest to anyone in a situation like this to seek help from persons that can help them make the changes necessary to manage.
Seems to me the only way.
So if a parent can ask for it all, is he/she teaching mannigement?
if he/she has been using it for most of the person's life?
Doesn't matter. If you are living under their rule you have to pay what they ask. If you are not eating, living as you feel you shouldn't, you are the only one to change it.
Again, what recourse do you have?
Ok, let the adult give the parents the money, not having the money that is sent to them be under the name of the parent once he/she is legal, that way it can be managed by the person to whom it was entitled, even if it's giving it a2l away.
I meant of legal age...
Even so, the person receiving the money should be the one managing it... If the money is directly deposited in to the parents account after age 18 with out the consent of the person whom is getting the funds, that is a federal crime, unless the parent has been declared the guardian because of mental deficiency etc.
Absolutely when someone is 18, they should be managing their own SSI. I guess I've never known someone who was not in charge of their own, unless there was some extenuating mental disability that meant the person was unable to manage their own money. But all the blind people I've known where blindness was the only disability have been in charge of theirs once they turned 18. I certainly was.
Wayne, I think you and Millie are talking about two separate circumstances here. You're talking about paying your parents rent if you live with them, and the parent's right to ask it. Makes sense. If you're under their roof as an adult child, and they want rent, then the adult child pays it. But the money would still be coming in the person's name, and being transferred from the child's hands into the parent's, as with any other landlord. I think Millie is talking about where the SSI still comes in the parent's name, or the adult child is not given the opportunity to manage it. Cases in which the parent is using the money to hold control, not as a way for the now adult child to help support the household they're living in. Two very different things.
I don't understand why this becomes such an issue. If you're over 18, then wouldn't you have the right to go to the Social Security Administration and get your benefits transferred into your own name? Maybe I'm ignorant about this because it simply was never an issue for me.
For me, I've been struggling to release my own SSI to my name for a couple years now. They simply refuse to do so, even with my payee who is my mom telling them she wants to release it to me. It's been an on going battle on several fronts which is getting no ware
Well, I thought I addressed both issues. I as well never had any issues, and I believe I said a call to the social security should do it.
If that doesn't you need an avocate or lawyer.
In most cases if you get your funds you will have to manage it.
I don't know the reasons why you, rat, can't get released, but to do so you'll have to force the issue, and when you do this will cause fights.
I have plenty of blind frionds who don't have mental issues, and they don't have control over their ssi because their parents want to have fubl control over them. One found out her mother was lying about the date she recieved her check and of the kmmount she was recieving, and she was 23 when she found this out. I'm not saying all do this, but I believe that the person who's over 18 should be maniging their money RESPONSIBLY
Wow, if this problem is as widespread as it seems, perhaps the organized blind may need to have a say about it, I know of some blind people who are overprotected and don't know their rights, or who fear the repercussions of acting on their own. In my case, my mom basically found an apartment for me when I was eighteen and got my first SSI check. I made lots of mistakes, but eventually made it through the rough spot and out on my own.
Yes, most I know of in this situation don't know their rights.
Before I filed when I was 18, someone was claiming against my benefit in my family... this stopped, as soon as I was made aware, and I didn't even need to confront the individual who'd been drawing the funds with out letting me know.
I could see where a lot of people wouldn't want to challenge their families though, telling the person putting a roof over your head "Hey, buy not letting me manage my own money, you're committing a federal crime, because the money is going to you, not me, with out my consent" could get a lot of people out on the street.
Yes, it causes arguments. I think the arguments are worse when the parent is in the wrong, or greedy, or is a person that doesn't manage well.
There you go, Wayne and james! it's so unfortunate! :(
Yes, unfortunately this situation happens all the time, especially if a person starts drawing SSI before the age of 18. Until age 18, the benefits are, of course, in the guardian's name. I've always been under the impression that in order to become one's own payee after age 18, one must prove mental competence with a note from a doctor. However, this doesn't always seem to be the case in practice. All I had to do was call and say, "I need my benefits to be transfered into my name", and the next thing I knew it was done. I was prepared to get a doctor's note, but I didn't need it. Obviously, Rat is having a completely different experience. Based on other dealings that I've had with the Social Security Administration, I would guess that these differing experiences are due to incompetence on their part. I suppose I was lucky in that it worked in my favor. lol. But anyone who has gone through the proper steps and been denied control of their benefits should contact a lawyer.
Most of my friends with disabilities know the policies governing SSI benefits, whether they've been through this kind of situation or not. But if it is true that there are many who do not know their rights, I agree that we in disability rights groups should educate them. I think the difficulty would be that this goes back to what is, for many people, a very personal and sensitive issue, family ties and control. Personally, I think that at a certain age, teenagers who draw SSI should be made aware that they can control their finances when they turn 18 if they are competent to do so and that no one can stop them. But that kind of educational campaign could very likely result in a backlash from parents who would not want their children to have this knowledge. What do you do in that case? I would love to hear suggestions, because right now I have no answer for that. Furthermore, once a person is 18, they may still face a myriad of mental and psychological tactics from overprotective and/or controlling family members, such as intimidation, guilt trips, threats, and brainwashing, that might make them hesitate to pursue their benefits and their independence on the whole. In that case, it depends on how each individual will handle it. Some will cave because of some warped form of family loyalty, or lack of will power, or because even if they know their rights, they don't know how to help themselves. However, I firmly believe that once a person is a legal adult, is aware of their rights, and is informed about how to help themselves, they are accountable for whatever level of independence they do or do not achieve.
And now that I'm firmly on my soap box, here's my advice for anyone who needs help gaining control of their lives: As stated above, in order to become your own payee for SSI, you must, theoretically, supply Social Security with a doctor's note stating that you are mentally competent. If you're still denied, get a lawyer. If you're facing roadblocks from family, and you want out, and you're willing to do what it takes to get out, then I would suggest contacting your nearest Center for Independent Living. They have offices all over the country. They're a nonprofit information and referral organization that knows pretty much everything about everything with regard to resources for all aspects of independent living for people with disabilities. They can get you hooked up with housing, Paratransit, and Social Security, help you fill out an application for food stamps, get you involved in different kinds of community groups, and refer you to any other organization that might be able to help you. I'm fairly certain that they can also tell you where to find attendant services if you need them. You can then begin working on your transition into independence. get everything set up (housing, Paratransit, etc.), and get everything of yours (SSI, bank account, cell phone) transferred into your name. Keep everything a secret from anyone who would want to stop you. Go to a friend's house and work from there if necessary. Have mail pertaining to your transition sent somewhere else. Cover your tracks on the computer. When you're ready to make your move, so to speak, have a few friends help you take everything that is legally yours to your new place, preferably while your family is out. Finally, make sure you have a place to crash if the shit hits the fan before you're ready.
I hope this has enlightened those of you who were not aware of the extent of this issue, and I hope that anyone who knows someone who is going through this will pass on the insight of all who have posted to this board.
Namaste,
Becky
Wow, Thank you, becky! I wish I had an answer, but I don't. I believe most youngsters who face these types of situations with the parents/family you've described in the above have extreme difficulty standing up for themselves, even if they know their rights, for fear of the consequential effects not only physically, but emmotionally and psychologicly when it comes to family reactions. It's hard, yet not impossible, for when I was told to move out of my mother's house for not following her beliefs, I, was not buying the guiltrips, manipulation and intimidation, because I knew my rights, and I stood up for myself and my beliefs, even if she was my mom. But it's all emmotional too, perhaps it has to do with the price you are willing to pay for standing up for your independence. =I can say, that I don't think one needs a note from the doctor that prooves mental competence, and, while it's not easy, I believe one can accomplish much more by standing up for oneself. There are many resources one can seek helf, after all.
I do know someone who dealt with an issue getting their funds from a parent, but I do not know the full story. Basically the parent was doing something they shouldn't have been and the situation got rectified. Anyway, yeah, I got SSI when I was 18 and it always went into my name, thank God.
Ok I read some of this a couple days ago: Really? Some people, just because they're blind, are required to get a doctor's note saying they're of sound mind? What next? The blacks have to get a doctor's note of some kind? Or women, after they have a baby, saying they won't kill it? I mean, talk about slippery slope here.
Of course, with other groups this would not happen, but being the small minority the blind are, it could get done as a socially acceptable thing I guess. If this is in fact real, it's horrible. It'd be more merciful to just shoot them, which is saying something. I mean, they haven't committed a crime, but they're expected to for all intents and purposes remain in custody? Let that sink in ...
hopefully a legal mind on here can weigh in on this one.
My father always recieved my SSI, but that never went productively to anything worthy. My brother recieves it as well. But now that I live with my grandmother/momma I recieve every penny of my SSI. My momma never tells me what to spend it on, how to manage it. But I as a child, and since I live with her feel its necessary to help with I can. So sometimes it means handing half of my check or the whole thing over. But one thing I can be grateful for is that I'm not even eighteen and can choose where it goes. So in a way, I feel she is teaching me without holding my hand how to manage it.
I raise my glass to her, Jodeci! Bravo! That's exactly what I'm saying, she's teaching, not taking, and a double marit for letting you doing it being under age!
It might be how you conducted yourself when you call the Social Security office.
People can fight all they want to get there funds, and this is right, but if they don't seem to be able to manage the Social Security tries to help them.
That is a double edged sord. If a parent can show they are being cared for in a good fashion that might be why it is difficult.